Permissions: Blanket permission to podfic anything you would like, even if it has already been done, just let me know so that I can link back to you and give you mad props.
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I enjoy making friends and talking to them, so let me know. It's not that I care really who reads my journal, the reason for the 'friends only' lock is because there are one or two people I want nothing to do with and this keeps them from continuing to spy on me like a stalker. But by all means, friend me and let me know, and I will do the same. ^_^
- Current Mood: hungry
Okay, so, while the subject of personal appearance and weight can be triggery for some people, as can weight loss and dieting methods, we're talking about it. Bear in mind, my desire to get skinny has nothing to do with anyone else or their opinion of me. Fuck you very much, I like me, and you aren't so special I should cater my life to your wants and perceptions.
Heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and all the health problems that come with that run in my family. Some people are born naturally thin. God bless you. I am not one of those people. I have had to keep food journals and do testing and all kinds of hoops jumped through to find out.... I *have* to exercise daily or I will gain weight. I eat like a bird as is, not to get skinny, just a lifestyle change that stayed with me. I eat constantly, seriously, but I eat very small amounts. And I eat mostly fruits and veggies. If I do eat meat: it's turkey, chicken, or fish.
So I had been trying my normal low cal diet (which totals out like 600 calories a day; fruit/kale smoothie for breakfast, asparagus,cheese, and nuts for lunch, mixed veggies or sandwich for dinner, oatmeal as a snack), topped with going to the gym everyday since I took up running.
I have the app Fitness Pal to help me track both my calories intake and my exercise, then I have another app Zombies, Run! to keep me on the treadmill amd running because I get bored and the game is fun. Some people can do the low cal + exercise diet. I eat healthy, as you can see. But my body cannot handle the exchange and I keep crashing and getting sick. Sick like I have the cold or something, in bed and exhausted.
Calories are our frienemies. I need them... if I am going to burn them. I bought Special K flatbreaad breakfasts (sausage, egg, cheese on flatbread 240) which is really good. There are diff options. One company has a egg white and spinach with cheese on flatbread that looks really really good.
I'm making a point to have higher calories, yet still healthy food options. Which means I'm having to eat more meat, which I'm not crazy about, and things like nuts, which I'm not crazy about. I just don't care for them. I don't like dried beans either. Picky eater only on a few things.
Because while I eat like a bird, any stored bodyfat you have cannot get worked off without exercise and that is what I am trying to get rid of. I'm a size 10 and as of this morning weigh 150lbs. Which is the high end of my "ideal body weight" for my height, gender, etc. So I am within where I should be, but I've also already lost almost 20 lbs over the past months. I want to get down to the low end of my ideal body weight, which would be about 120 lbs. All of which would come from my thighs, butt, and legs in general. I'm pretty solid. I will never be will thin or graceful, nor do I want to be wafer thin. I want to be down in the safe zone for my body type and maintain it for my health. It's much easier to maintain a body type than to reach a new one.
Gaining weight is easy and effortless. Losing it, hard. I'm too lazy to keep going up and down with my weight like some people do. I want to reach my goal and then maintain it, to take care of my body so I don't end up with all kinds of joint problems and health issues. Your muscles support your joints. Lack of exercise is why people have a lot of problems, or at least in my experience. Your back hurts because the muscles that support your spine are flimpsy and limp and it gets no support. <- what I can't get my mother to understand.
It's a lot of effort to get healthy. It's exhausting. But I *want* it. I don't want to be those people who always talk about needing to get their weight off, but do nothing. It's like wanting to be rich, but not willing to get a job or go to school.
So yeah. Trying to get healthy and skinny. I started out unable to run at all, and can now run a 5k easy. I have lost weight and kept it off, and still have a long way to go. I have people trying to tell me what they think I ought to look like, whether that I'm a good size, or I'll be too skinny, or I could gain weight, and I smile, nod, and ignore them, because this isn't about THEM. It's about me and what I want for my own reasons. Hopefully it'll inspire others to do the same.
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
My new audiobook is now available! If you are a fan of my podfics, you can now listen as I do professional audiobooks!
"Winter Sparrow" by Estevan Vega, now available through audible.com, and soon through Amazon.com and itunes. You can check it out here on Audible
Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.
Let's have a quick recap.
Memorial day weekend, I was Tour Guide Barbie. It was glorious. Hananobira came and visited me so we went and did all the things.
I'm the one of the left, btw.
We also went here, and it was amazing.
Saw Star Trek Into Darkness and I seriously have no words. it was amazing. Then another part of my brain was like "Holy Shit. SuperTrekWhoLock!" because I *swear* I saw Ruby v2.0 on the bridge at one of the consoles for a brief instant, because I did a dbl-take. It may have only looked like her, but it REALLY looked like her. So we had Ruby, Mickey, and Sherlock on the Enterprise and, well, it was amazing. What else could it be?
In other Star Trek news: Star Trek First Contact? Will never be over it. I love that movie. Ah, Data. *sighs dreamily* That movie was badass, say what you want. I squee.
Moving on: podcasts. Been listening to the Slash Report podcast (just got into podcasts, and if you have any to rec, hit me up.), the Supernatural one only so far. It reminds me how different I am from other apparent fans? I don't have this love-hate relationship with Supernatural like other people apparently do. Season Six was bad, we don't talk about it. There were a couple of moments in Season seven *cough*DaphneandEmmanuelWTH*cough* we don't talk about either, because sense? They make none and I call bad writing. The actors call bad writing, so you KNOW it's bad writing.
Anyway, in the SPN podcast at one point they bring up Destiel and the fact that many fans "delusionally" believe that Destiel will become canon. Okay, first off? I do not believe we are delusional in thinking it will happen, because from a writing stand point, if Dean and Cas do not eventually get together? I have NO IDEA what the HELL the majority of Season 8 was about. Like, not even kidding. They then said that if it ever DOES become canon, fans will be pissed off about it, which is quite possible, becuase the show will ruin it by doing it wrong. Personally, Season Eight handled Dean/Cas so AMAZINGLY well, that I pretty much completely trust them with the relationship at this point.
Moving on. Today, I am listening to their podcast as they are watching the Star Trek reboot movie, and serious cackling and upset that I cannot join in this epic event. So much fun. Go listen to it. It's amazing. Don't listen at work because you won't get any work done for giggling and nodding your head in agreement.
What else? Oh. Working on Podfic Big Bang. I have four podfics I signed up for, two are repods, one of which is already finished. One I have to sing for and that is bound to end badly. Completely original song in the fic, so I may but the words to the melody of something else so I can manage. IDEK. Also? I don't sing.
Redemption Road is about to start, I just need to start assigning chapters. People need to email me their email addresses though, so I can send one letter. We lost a podfic reader. Jenna Corinth has had RL interference and can't commit to the major part, but will do some DVD extras, so send her good wishes and prayers, k? The plan is to start posting episodes after PBB finishes. We'll see. I need to get on that.
Another thing, and this is a SERIOUS PROBLEM GUYS. Supernatural and the new S.H.I.E.LD. show? Will be airing at the same day, same time this fall and I can't record. I will, of course, watch Supernatural but it's the POINT OF THE MATTER! Like when they People's Choice expected us to vote between Jensen Ackles or Jared Padalecki for Best Actor. WHAT?! I will have to find a way to stream later. No internet at home, so fun times there.
Anything else? "Defy Any and All Expectations" is amazing you guys. Go read it. I love it. So much BAMF Cas, Dean, and Sam. It gives me happy feels.
Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, fluff, friendship, family, lots of feels.
Characters: Dean, Cas, Sam, Charlie, Kevin.
Dean had been so freaking grateful to actually find Cas, for him to be returned to them rather that just let fall from the sky like all the others, that Dean had only been able to grab the angel and hug him when he’d seen him, relief and grief warring against each other.
Cas clung back, actually whimpering into Dean’s coat. “Dean, they’re falling.”
“I know, Cas. I am so sorry. I never wanted this. I never wanted- I’m so glad you’re okay.”
“It’s my fault.” And Dean would never say, but he was pretty sure Castiel was crying. “He took my grace, Dean. He has it. It was the final piece he needed. I did this.”
Dean released him, taking his friend’s face in his hands and forcing him to look at the hunter. “Hey, hey, none of that!” he ordered. “You did not do this, Cas! You hear me? This was not your fault! Metatron lied and tricked you! He tricked all of us! You thought you were helping, Cas, you were trying to help them!” He kept and arm around the angel- former angel’s shoulders, guiding him toward the car where he’d left Sam. “C’mon, Cas. Let’s get you home. We’ll figure this out tomorrow.”
His brother was already passed out in the car, and Dean really wondered if he didn’t need to take him directly to the hospital instead of the base. Castiel got in the back seat and slumped against the door, gaze watching as more angels fell, tears gliding down his face.
Dean gunned the car home. He had no idea what they would be looking at tomorrow, with reports coming in from all across the globe as suddenly thousands of culture shocked and traumatized angels found themselves in a place that was not their home, being punished and not even knowing why. His mind was filled with all the other things in his life he wanted to fix as well, like the two people his world revolved around, both in the car and both so very broken at the moment.
He needed to get them home, get them safe, then they could focus on the rest. One goal at a time, even while his mind was giving him a list of other things he needed to be worried about like: Castiel was vulnerable to possession now and needed to get inked, Sam hadn’t eaten a proper meal in days and they had no groceries, hell, Cas probably hadn’t eaten in years, and Kevin no longer had a mother, and Hell was still open, and there was no one in Heaven to even step in anymore to fight against the demons had they been so inclined.
Where the hell was God during all this?! The angels were dicks and he’d wanted them locked away in heaven, sure, but he’d never wished for something like this to happen to them. This was just cruel.
For a brief, irrational moment, Dean kinda wished that Cas’ other siblings, like Gabriel, Anna, Samandriel, Lucifer, Michael, Balthazar, and even Naomi were all alive and could put aside their differences, realize that all the fighting was stupid and wage war against Metatron, put things back right the way it should be, to fix what was their fault to begin with.
It gave him a mental image of what the angels must have once been back in all their glory days, standing tall and united and glorious, and Dean would be the first to admit that that was the scariest fucking thing he could imagine, and that was after forty years in hell and losing everyone he'd ever cared about at least once.
His phone started ringing beside him, and he quickly answered, the breath he’d been holding leaving him in a rush. “Charlie,” he sighed, oddly relieved beyond words to hear from the red head.
“Not to alarm you, but the sky is falling, Dean. What the hell?”
“It’s not the sky, Charlie. It’s angels. Angels are falling. Some insane angel worked a spell that forced all the other angels out of Heaven. Hell, we helped him do it-“
“He’s Metatron! The Scribe of God! He told us- look, we were trying to close the gates of Heaven and Hell so that all this fighting would stop! He wanted to stop the other angels, has been in hiding from them, he helped us out, and then told us the steps to close the gates of Heaven because Crowley had the Angel Tablet! Except he lied! He lied and now-“ His voice choked, gaze flicking to his brother looking huddled and small despite his size where he was curled in the front seat, then back to Cas, who’s eyes were closed and had tear tracks all down his face. “Charlie, I need your help.”
“I’m on my way.”
When Charlie came in and threw her arms around Dean, hugging him tightly and immediately reassuring him that they’d get through it and figure it out, Dean felt his eyes prick. He spent so much time trying to look after others, he’d forgotten what it was like to have someone look after him.
Dropping her bags, she moved over to the younger Winchester, wrapping an arm around his waist. “C’mon, Sammy. Let’s get you to your room.”
The much larger male looked down at her with bleary eyes and an exhausted smile. “Hi, Charlie.”
She rubbed his back. “Hi, Moose. Time for bed, buddy.”
Castiel was standing awkwardly in the middle of the library, contemplating the ground beneath his feet. Placing a hand on his back, Dean guided him toward the wing with the bedrooms.
“C’mon Cas. Let’s get you a change of clothes and to bed.”
The man beside him blinked with a start, glancing at the looming doors with sudden realization. “Oh. That’s right. Sleep.”
“It can be one of the perks of being human,” Dean tried to reassure him, leading him into Dean’s room to find the angel something to wear.
“…Is there room for me?” the other man asked timidly, suddenly unsure of his place now that everything had changed.
Straightening with pajama pants and t-shirt in one hand, Dean turned to give his best friend a serious look. “Cas, there will always be room for you. You are a member of this family and have been for years, or don’t you remember all we’ve already been through together?” As the former angel took the soft bundle, folding it to his chest, Dean waved toward one of the walls. “We’ll set you up in the room next to this one and it can be yours. Sam is on the other side of me. Kevin and Charlie both have rooms on the other side of the hall. I’ll show you where the bathrooms and showers are.”
The angel was just nodding, probably not even listening, and Dean thought about taking Cas to what would be his room and leaving him there, standing alone in the middle of a Spartan, empty room looking as lost and alone as he did now after everything he’d just lost.
Dean swallowed. “But tonight you’re staying in here.” The angel looked up with a start and Dean held up a hand. “Dude. I am not leaving you alone after what just happened. I can’t fix it for them or help them, but I can and will be there for you.” He glanced at the bed, frowning. “I’ll, uh, just drag the other mattress in here and set it up. You take the bed, and I’ll be right beside you.”
Castiel’s face was a lot more expressive when he was human, but so many things flitted across his face Dean didn’t have time to pick them all out and name them before the angel looked down and nodded.
“Thank you, Dean.”
At some point during the night, Dean woke to the sound of sniffling, his eyes flying open in the pitch darkness, mind quickly reminding him of the facts and where he was and what the noise most likely was.
He sat up, shifting and standing.
“I didn’t mean to wake you,” apologized Cas in the darkness.
Dean’s eye roll was lost on the angel before he found the lump that was Castiel, and gave him a shove. “Scoot over, man.”
Castiel didn’t protest or argue, just did as told, allowing room for Dean, pillow in hand, to crawl into the bed with him, laying so that he was facing the angel, aware of how much room was between him and the edge of the bed. Silently, he felt for Castiel’s hand, clasping it in his before closing his eyes.
“Go back to sleep, Cas.”
He didn’t allow himself to fall asleep again until after the angel had.
The next morning, inspiration struck Dean like a sledge hammer and he dragged the prophet away from the kitchen table by his elbow.
“I need a big favor, Kev, and you’re the man to do it.”
The prophet eyed him warily. “I’m already working to translate the other tablet.”
Dean waved a hand. “There’s no one left to lock upstairs, but try to find something else useful on the tablet. No, I need you to run some errands and take Castiel with you.” The prophet glanced toward the kitchen where Charlie was currently trying to instill in Castiel the importance of coffee and how to make a pot of the stuff. Kevin looked back at Dean, evident confusion on his face. “We need groceries, he needs clothes, other basic stuff, normal essentials. Also, we have to get him inked. I need you to do this for me. Take as long as possible.”
Dean clapped him on the shoulder, glancing over at the angel who was dressed in a set of Dean’s clothes and socked feet, as he measured out coffee scoops and Charlie watched.
“Your Highness?” he called, and she glanced over, brows raised in question. “Need you for a second. Sam still asleep?”
His brother waved a hand as he made his way into the kitchen. “I’m here.”
The elder Winchester gave a sharp nod. “Good. Need you too. Grab breakfast to go.”
They went to Wal-Mart. Even if Kevin and Cas showed up, they would be on the other side of the store in groceries, while the other three were in the paint section comparing color squares and arguing color coordination and what colors Cas even liked.
Then they were looking at photos, black and white canvas pictures of nature and city landscapes and trying to decide if the picture of the lone dock over water was peaceful or depressing or if they would be safer with the picture of the meadow where the only splash of color was to the flowers that carpets the earth’s floor.
Charlie dug out her camera and ordered all three of them into the shot, and it took about ten photos before she found one she was pleased with, and then she was darting off to get it printed in the photo center while Dean and Sam argued over whether to get Cas a heavy, solid colored blanket, or to get him a quilt for another slash of color. It was obvious which one was Dean’s idea and which was Sam’s, and then they were mentally making a list of all the albums in the base Cas would probably like and where they were so they could collect them and put them in his room, and wanted to run by a used book store to search for a couple of books to go on the angel’s shelf, and then once they finally had all their running around done, they were rushing back to the base to get it all set up.
Kevin called them at lunch to inform them that Cas really liked cheeseburgers and that the waitress had brought them a free dessert because apparently it was obvious cas was having a bad day, and free pie made everything better. Dean saw no flaw in her logic and thankedsomebody that while the world was ending there were decent people still in it.
He hadn’t bothered to listen to the news but a minute, already knowing that people were freaking out and that most of the angels were being transported the hospital in an unconscious state. Dean really didn’t want to think about what would happen when they all began waking up.
He’d already had Charlie set up a computer program to create a record every time a potential angel was admitted into a hospital and compile a list, constantly feeding it through to Garth who already had people in place to intervene and try to minimize the damage, taking in angels as they could and creating a massive, hunter ran foster home for wayward angels.
It wouldn’t be enough, but at least they were trying.
Meanwhile, Charlie, Dean, and Sam were covered in paint with fans blowing the fumes from the room and more set up to try and make the paint dry faster. Arranging and decorating with what few things they’d gotten him to personalize Castiel’s room as his. Books on the shelf. A framed copy of the photo they’d taken earlier sat on Cas’s nightstand, all three of them laughing at that point, and not actually really smiling for the camera yet. They had the soft blanket folded at the end of Castiel’s bed, and a change of sheets that were a dark blue Dean and Sam had actually agreed on. Charlie had even found a ‘Welcome Home’ sign she hung on his door just as Kevin called to warn them that he and the angel were back.
They met them in the library, a procession line of all five of them making at least one trip out to the car for groceries, while Cas glanced around and made an inquiry about the paint smell, before noticing the paint on all three of them and frowning in confusion.
“Had to touch up the warding and sigils in the dungeon, Cas,” Sam lied smoothly, working with Kevin to separate the food by where it needed to go.
“Heard Kevin here took you to get inked,” stated Dean, meeting his friend’s eyes. The angel nodded. “He didn’t convince you to get it somewhere naughty, did he?” he teased, shooting the younger man a cross look.
Kevin held up his hands. “Hey, I tried to get him to get it where you have yours. Told him it made sense, but he said it was predictable pattern that would leave him vulnerable.”
Dean gave Castiel a curious look now. “Well, that does make sense, I guess. So where did you get it?”
The other man pivoted slightly, lifting up the edge of his t-shirt, revealing the way Dean’s jeans were slung low on his hips and the white bandage on his hipbone. The hunter’s mouth went very dry, and he had to swallow thickly, glancing away.
“Good, uh, thinking…” he said, as the former angel’s shirt fell back into place.
Almost as soon as they had finished with groceries, Sam was coming up behind Cas and covering his eyes, while Charlie took him by the hands and led him through the corridors, Kevin trailing behind with a slightly amused expression.
Castiel’s mouth was in a frown as Charlie led him in circles to throw off his sense of direction, while Sam was forced to trail behind laughing as he kept the angel’s eyes covered, and Dean leaned against the wall outside the appointed room, biting his cheek at their antics.
Sam finally released Cas as Dean put his hand on the doorknob, grinning at his friend as he gently pushed to door open.
“Welcome home, Cas.”
Any of them that later said they didn’t at least tear up in the next few minutes was lying and they all knew it.
Home isn’t a place, or a structure, it’s the people that take something horrible and try to make it better, to help you shoulder your burden. Home is family.
Pairing: Gen, but headcanon is always Dean/Cas
Word Count: 847
Summary: Charlie had shown up without warning, shoving past Dean and Sam with arms laden down with bags and boxes, making Dean laugh when she shoved half of them on Sam, something about ‘moose transport’ muttered under her breath before whirling on them with a maniacal grin that made Sam even warier. Dean grinned back, already knowing Charlie well enough to recognize the look as the same he got when he had an awesome idea.
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Title: American as Apple pie
Pairing/Characters: Dean/Cas, Sam
Summary:Dean saves the world the same way he entered it: buck naked.
Files: mp3 l m4b
Author: thefogofwar (tumblr)
Summary: Someone is playing a piano Dean didn't even know they had.
Files: mp3 l m4b
<b>Do you podfic?</b>
<b>How did you learn about about podfic?</b>
<b>If you podfic, how did you get started?</b>
<b>Favorite podfic reader(s)?</b>
<b>What length podfic do you prefer?</b>
<b>When do you listen to podfic?</b>
<b>What genre do you prefer?</b>
<b>Do you listen to podfic in one fandom more than another?</b>
<b>Do you listen to podfic outside your own fandoms?</b>
Fandom(s): Supernatural is the one I'm active in, but also like Doctor Who, Merlin, Avengers, and Stargate SG-1
Do you podfic? Indeed.
How did you learn about about podfic? Uh, just saw it around and how a basic idea what it was.
If you podfic, how did you get started? I started writing a fic, and my best friend wanted to read it but has zero free time to indulge in fic what with two jobs and being a band wife. I sought out how to do podfic strictly to record for her, I had no intentions of sharing with others, as I was just doing her a favor. Then I got hooked and wanted to get more involved.
Favorite podfic reader(s)? Liannabob, Jennacorinth, Fayjay, reenajenkins, and... I'm forgetting ppl, I know. Those are the first four that immediately come to mind, as I have specifically searched under their name just to download all the things.
Favorite podfics? "Metaphysical Gravity" (SPN), "Silvertongue" (AVNG), "On the Wings of War" (SPN), Peanut Butter Pumpkin Wedding Cake" (SPN), "And I Will Walk on Water" (SPN), "Life as a Tree House" (AVNG), "Even the Light is an Illusion" (AVNG), "The Fifth Act" (FFVII), "The Man with No Name" (Doctor Who/Firefly), "Loki Runway" (AVNG), "Semaphore" (AVNG)-- I rec all of these so hard.
What length podfic do you prefer? I like longer fic, 45 mins at least. I like stories with a plot I can really sink my teeth into, like "The Fifth Act" which is completely Gen and I was hooked, several times yelling at the podfic and characters for their actions in the face of crisis and moving to slow because TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE DUMBASS!! It's an amazing fic. *sighs dreamily*
When do you listen to podfic? All the freaking time. I work in an office and have my earbuds in all day becuase I deal with reports and paperwork and don't have to have the ability to hear exactly. I listen in my car, laying out by the pool, at the gym, etc. I listen to podfic a lot and listen to them repeatedly. Thus my love of longer fics as well.
What genre do you prefer? All genres. I shy away from Gen, actually, because who doesn't love SOME romance? But if someone has great Gen to rec me, I am always happy to listen.
Do you listen to podfic in one fandom more than another? Mm, I'm pretty strongly in the Supernatural and Avengers fandoms right now, listening wise. I haven't recorded anything for Avengers, though I would like to give it a try. They sound so fun to do.
Do you listen to podfic outside your own fandoms? Er, no. I don't know if this is considered rude either. I stick to my bubble of joy and don't venture out. I have fandoms I like that i don't listen to podfic of because... I dunno, it just doesn't draw me in enough I want to listen to podfic really, or at least, not enough to actively search it out. I have several fandoms that if you have a fic you want to rec, I would totally listen to it, and probably love. Do I make sense? Probably not. I'm weird. Some fandoms just suck me in more and make me want to get all involved in the fic-buffet. Others? Not so much, even though I still love the show/books/movies.
Title: Friend Like That
Characters/Pairing: Dean, Charlie, mentioned Dean/Cas
Length: 4 mins
Summary: Charlie asks about the Supernatural books.
Files: text l mp3 l m4b
Title: What I Won't Give
Length: 18 mins
Summary: Takes place during S6. Dean confronts Cas about the wall that has apparently grown between them, how it got there, and how to tear it back down.
Files: text l mp3 l m4b